11 years ago, I walked out of an abusive relationship and a 22-year marriage.
I'd only been in Canada 2 years, and my husband called my mom in Ireland, saying “Rina will end up on your doorstep.”
I'd left an abusive relationship but I was homeless. I had no income to speak of.
I lost my health coverage. My kids lost their health coverage.
I lost my right to work in Canada and I had to start my own business, serving clients in Europe, just so that I could stay in Canada.
Post-separation abuse was a foreign concept to me. I wasn't prepared for the wave of vitriol and vindictiveness that come after leaving an abusive relationship. A smear campaign, revenge porn, financial abuse, harassment, attempted extortion, to name just a few.
The next 3 years were the most difficult ones of my life. I realized that no-one was coming to save me and I had to fight for my survival, my sanity, and my happiness, not to mention my children's happiness. I fought like I've never fought in my life.
I endured poverty, unbearable stress, uncertainty, fear, and sleepless nights. I started a tooth-grinding habit that cost me at least one tooth.
There was plenty of support for me as a victim of an abusive relationship, but that support evaporated once I left it. I felt let down by a system that was set up to help women leave abusive marriages but treated them like part of the problem once they left them.
If I had to do it again, I would.
I would go through all of that again to leave that abusive relationship, because freedom, happiness, and peace were waiting for me on the other side.
They're waiting for you too.
Contact me if you're leaving an abusive relationship, and I'll help you find your way to the light that's waiting at the end of the tunnel.